Most parents in the world don't give it a second thought that their child won't talk verbally. Many take it for granted that their child will just start talking, like most kids do. So, it's only natural for any parent to have verbal speech as the ultimate goal for their child's method of communication. Afterall, verbal speech is the most common method to communicate throughout the world.
But can a parent's priorities change and adapt? My priorities changed. When difficulties became apparent and my child didn’t start talking like his peers, I started to worry if he would be able to communicate at all. So my priority became that my child would be able to communicate in any way so they can get their needs met and their wants understood. Which is at the very core of communication. With my 1st born, I was determined to teach him how to talk. I really pushed for this and worked hard with him at home using pecs and every speech and language strategy I could learn. It really helped but it got to a point my son couldn't cope with the extra learning at home. I had to listen to his needs and wants, despite wanting to push on. My son became more relaxed at home and did his learning at school.
It's important to not push speaking verbally at all costs, or above all other forms of communication because that might not be where your child's motivation or abilities are. For example, my youngest at the moment, either has no motivation or isn't able to speak verbally so if I only focused on that it would be too overwhelming for him and I might miss an opportunity to develop communication in an another way. Just now, he's at the gesture stage and we have tried to use communication cards to supplement his communication, but it didn’t go well. We are also trying makaton but it's very early days. I'm desperate to race ahead but that won't help him. Slow and steady seems to be the way with my boy. I do believe my son will learn to communicate in some way, but I need to follow his lead and be open to different approaches.
In a neurotypical world, I believe we need more people to see the value in other forms of communication and have them used in mainstream society. For example, could sign language be part of the school curriculum? Should businesses have communication cards/symbols displayed for all to see? Should signed performances at cinemas and theatres be more frequent? Should Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) devices (eg tools, apps, or systems) be more easily available and used in all schools, leisure centres, shops and businesses? Let's make other forms of communication more common place, let society show that every form of communication is valued and accepted.
A misconception about non speaking individuals is that they have limited understanding and don't have anything to say. But just because a person is non speaking doesn't mean they are non thinking or don't understand. Always presume competence because many people who don't talk verbally, completely understand what is being said and have ideas and opinions of their own. Chris Packman presented a documentary about being autistic and on it was a young man who couldn't speak verbally but was highly intelligent. It was incredible to hear directly from him how he felt about being autistic, being non speaking and about the world. He communicated through writing and presented himself in such an inspiring way.
Main forms of communication:
▪️Verbal communication - speech
▪️Non verbal communication - body language, facial expression, gestures etc
▪️Sign language - British Sign Language (BSL) and Makaton
▪️Communication cards - PECS, Boardmaker, Makaton symbols,
▪️AAC (Augmentative and alternative communication) - Unaided (no equipment e.g.: signing, gestures or eye pointing). Aided forms (use of technology e.g. symbol boards, apps)
I researched the statistics on how many people were non speaking but there doesn't seem to be a lot of research in Scotland about the percentage of people that are non speaking. However, in the 2011 Census 98.6% of people in Scotland aged 3 and over spoke English well or very well. Scotland’s Census (2022) found that 117,300 people can use British Sign Language (BSL), 2.2% of people aged 3 and over. These statistics help to show that non speaking methods of communication are very much in the minority. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be valued and represented visually in society.
Maybe it takes everyone doing a small part individually that will build up to a huge difference. Why not print off some symbols and put them up round your school, office, workplace? Ask your local shop if you can put them up. Why not learn some Makaton or BSL (British Sign Language)? See below for some links to learn sign language.
So, should non speaking children's ultimate goal to be able to talk? Or should the focus be helping them to communicate in the best way they can and be understood? What do you think?
Resources:
Below are some links to some resources related to communication, including my communication booklet - 'Communication: Where do I start?'. Which you can download for free, on the family resource page.
Links to census:
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